How to Talk to Donors About Planned Giving: Words That Work

Key Takeaways

• A planned giving conversation works best when it starts with the donor's values, not your organization's need.
• Legal and finance-sounding language ("bequest," "beneficiary designation," "deferred gift") is accurate but makes a first conversation feel like a legal transaction before trust is established.
• Most donors who have made a planned gift say afterward they wish someone had asked sooner. The hesitation is almost always on the organization's side.
• Getting this right directly affects whether your organization captures gifts that are larger than what most donors give annually, pulling from the 97.7% of household wealth held in non-cash assets.
• Having the practical next step ready the moment a donor says yes matters as much as how you open the conversation.

Quick Answer

The most effective planned giving conversations open with a question about the donor's own legacy and values, not with the words "bequest," "estate," or "planned gift."

Lead with "What do you want your giving to be remembered for?" rather than "Would you consider leaving us a gift in your will?" Once a donor shows interest, technical language becomes useful for explaining options clearly; it just should not be the opening line.

In This Guide

• Why this conversation is different from every other ask
• Why this matters for nonprofits specifically
• Start with their story, not your need
• Words that open the door, and words that close it
• Don't wait for them to bring it up
• Reading the moment: when to bring it up
• Make "yes" easy to act on
• A simple conversation framework
• Frequently asked questions

Why This Conversation Is Different From Every Other Ask

Why This Matters for Nonprofits Specifically

For a small or mid-sized nonprofit, the financial case for getting this conversation right is substantial. Planned gifts are frequently larger than anything a donor could give from current income. A bequest funded by a home, a retirement account, or a lifetime of appreciated stock routinely dwarfs what the same donor gives annually. Bequest giving surged by 19.7% in 2025, totaling $62.19 billion. It is growing faster than almost any other category of charitable giving in recent years, accounting for nearly one-third of the nation's year-over-year increase in total charitable giving.

The practical implication: a single well-handled planned giving conversation can be worth more to an organization's long-term financial health than months of annual-fund outreach. But this is only true if the conversation actually happens, and happens in a way that does not quietly scare the donor off. Many organizations lose these gifts not because donors said no, but because no one asked clearly, or because the first ask sounded like a legal proceeding rather than an invitation.

Start With Their Story, Not Your Need

Words That Open the Door, and Words That Close It

Open with:

• "What first drew you to this cause?"
• "Have you thought about how you would want to be remembered?"
• "A lot of our longtime supporters have found a way to make their giving last beyond their lifetime. Is that something you have considered?"

Avoid leading with:

Once a donor shows genuine interest, technical language becomes useful to explain their options clearly and accurately. It is specifically the opening of the conversation that should stay in plain language.

Don't Wait for Them to Bring It Up

Development teams often wait for a donor to raise the topic first out of a reasonable instinct not to seem presumptuous or greedy. In practice, this means the conversation often never happens at all. Most donors will not bring up planned giving unprompted, even when they have privately already decided to include an organization in their plans. Roughly 33% of Americans explicitly state they would consider including a charitable gift in their estate plans if they were simply asked by an organization they support.

A direct, warm invitation consistently outperforms waiting. The donor can always say "I haven't thought about that," which costs the relationship nothing. The downside of asking too early is mild; the downside of never asking is a gift that simply never happens, or goes to an organization that did ask.

Reading the Moment: When to Bring It Up

There is no universal rule for timing, but a few signals tend to indicate a donor is ready for the conversation:

• Consistent loyalty: They have given consistently for several years, even in modest amounts. Consistent loyalty is a far more accurate predictor of bequest intent than immediate wealth capacity.
• High engagement: They have attended events, volunteered, or otherwise shown engagement beyond writing a check.
• Life transitions: They have mentioned family, retirement, or "getting my affairs in order" in passing conversation.
• Family dynamics: They are a longtime donor without children, or have mentioned not having an obvious family heir for their estate.

None of these guarantee interest, but they are reasonable cues to raise the topic rather than waiting indefinitely for a perfect opening.

Make "Yes" Easy to Act On

The moment a donor expresses interest is the moment momentum is highest. It is also the moment many organizations lose it simply by not having anything ready to hand over. Have on hand, before you need it:

• Simple bequest language the donor can take directly to their attorney, or use themselves if they are amending an existing will.
• Your organization's legal name and Federal Tax ID, needed for any beneficiary designation form on a retirement account or life insurance policy.
• A short, no-pressure way to let you know, such as a simple digital form, or a phrase like "just let us know when you're ready, there's no paperwork required on your end right now."

A donor who has to go find this information later on their own often does not come back to finish the process. The gap between "interested" and "documented" is where many planned gifts quietly disappear.

A Simple Conversation Framework

1. Ask about their story. Find out what drew them to the cause and why they have stayed.
2. Ask about legacy, not logistics. Focus on how they would want their giving to be remembered, not what legal vehicle they would use to do it.
3. Listen for the opening rather than steering toward one. Genuine interest usually surfaces on its own once the first two steps are handled well.
4. Offer, do not pitch. "A lot of our donors have found a simple gift in their will works well for this. Would it help to see how that works?"
5. Remove friction immediately. Have the practical details ready the moment they say yes, so interest converts to a documented gift while momentum is still high.

Frequently Asked Questions